• Jan

The Perfect Questions to Build a Connection

Not all questions are created equal. Because the process of how you get to know someone is as important as the match, we have created a simple game to help.



From artists to psychologists and women’s magazines: lots of different attempts were made to induce a sense of intimacy or closeness through better questions.


The more serious ones exploit the psychological phenomenon where people build trust by sharing successively more intimate information. The questions start fairly normal (e.g. “Summarize your life story in 4 minutes”). Participants read out a question and take turns in answering them first. That way it is easy to get to fundamental questions about deep insecurities faster. After going through a set of these questions with a stranger you’ll likely know them better than other people that you’ve known for years.


Usually, it’ll take around 2 hours to get through them, but this also depends on how much each of you dives into the details.


If you find this interesting, here are some other concepts with a similar aim (although most focus on dating):


  • We’re Not Really Strangers

  • The Deep Skin

  • 36 questions to fall in love


We have evaluated these, done some research on our own, and devised our own set of questions.


These card decks have been hidden in the city and our matches get sent the GPS location where they should meet to go through them together.


We will soon provide a digital version of these questions on our website.


Found this interesting? We are always looking for tools to support people along the entire path of becoming friends. Ideas, suggestions, questions, and inspiration is always welcome via jan@character-app.com — every email gets a personal reply. No VAs, no bots.